Red curtains, Red candles, Erotic naked wallpaper
@ “The Little Bay”, Kilburn
My date chose exceptionally well; it was to be our final date. “We aren’t compatible enough” were her words on WhatsApp the next morning. She was looking for commitment – I laughed to myself. I couldn’t offer that… Not with her anyway. It was my first time dating a Jewish girl. Growing up in the Welsh countryside the Jewish circle was non-existent. However, now in London, I should easily be able to fulfill my dreams in finding a ‘Jewish Princess’. The apps “Jcrush” and “Jswipe” are helping out. Both are similar to the sex hunting monopoly-matching dating phenomenon “Tinder”, but for Jews. It should be noted that “willing to convert” is an option for your level of “Jewishness”. If you’re not Jewish and finding a Jew is your glass of wine, look no further.
So she picked a good one – “The Little Bay”. A chain of six restaurants: Battersea, Brighton, Belgrade, Croydon, Farringdon and Kilburn. I travelled north to meet her in Kilburn, the most appropriate location for a North London lassie. From the outside, I wasn’t captivated, but upon entering I was assured by the ultra voguish interior and upbeat vibes. A mixture of church, brothel, spa and restaurant, the architecture was creative, daring and rambunctious. Red candles, red curtains and erotic wallpapwas in my element. Tables were crammed into the highest and lowest of places. It was a never-ending higgledy-piggledy mess. But it was a dam quirky and majestic higgledy-piggledy mess.
Our table was awkwardly positioned and required squeezing and bending to reach. But after making it, our new home was a stimulating curtained off cavern. Service was prompt, polite and executed with a genuine and responsive attitude from start to finish. Drink options were limited. Two types of beer: Budvar and Becks. London’s local microbrewery craft successes were missing. I was confused at the two food menus available. I never understand this in restaurants but it must work for them. I was shocked by the prices – exceptional for London. Starters @ £4.25 and Mains @ £7.25. I opted for Fresh brown crab profiteroles to start and cod fillet baked with chorizo, aubergine, tomato and red wine, topped with cucumber spaghetti for main.
I enjoyed dinner. It tasted honest and homemade. Reminding me of mothers cooking. Nothing fancy but I was charmed from my first bite to my empty plate. Two starters, two mains and two alcoholic drinks totaled in at £31.00. Value for money – “The Little Bay” gets a solid 8.5/10. Overall: a quality place for an affordable meal. I’m a big fan of its unique character which felt like an adult themed obstacle course. Dates, mates and family would love it – unless they’re prudish. Not a place for a business lunch, unless you’re in the creative sector. I can’t imagine bankers in suits venturing through the restaurant at ease. It would be awkward. But if you’re fun, book a table!
Value For Money: 8.5/10
First review, a lifetime to go….
Clutch… Paradise for fried chicken lovers
This may be my first and only review to circumnavigate the world, but nonetheless, my passion for food, drink and entertainment has directed me to write about these awesome fun experiences. Happily, I spend most of my money eating out and enjoying the global phenomenon of edible and drinkable treats.
Is it often one reads a review on fried chicken? Well ‘Clutch’ is no KFC, RFC, Nandos or any other regurgitated chicken binge found scuttling the streets of the city. While sitting on my bed in South East London indulging on three Weetabix, my food mind takes me back two Sundays ago to a new born chicken joint attached to a hipster entangled council estate, a stones throw from the floral scented Colombia Road. The prominent yellow washed and Gaucho resembling zebra print building appears alien in this environment, though feels like a safe-haven.
It’s Irish owners are genuine, welcoming and offer more banter than you generally find in London. A skinny camp man treats you like a best buddy, and his co-owner, a beaming beautiful brunette create the personality that represents a fat proportion of their success. The extravagant “clutchtail” menu scribbled down on a chalkboard was brought over to our table, featuring Rap star named drinks full of diverse ingredients. Their tastes weren’t overwhelming, slightly floral and too much ginger, a little try hard. Either way, at the price of two for £9, it’s a bargain for cocktails. Quick fact: Since beginning this write up, I have booked a table with three friends to eat there again this evening. Coincidental.
Most importantly: breasts, thighs and wings. A clear menu slapped in front of you and explained through and through. Brunch, Sunday lunches and a boisterous selection of fried chicken cuts are available. The rare breed free-range chicken is fried in Ground Nut Oil and organically sourced from a farm in Wiltshire. We opted for the full works: a loaded bucket of thighs, wings and breasts and a mound of succulent goujons. I indulge crispy food like there’s no tomorrow, though the exceptionally crunchy batter could potentially ruin bridge work. A choice of different batter styles are included; sweet chili, lemon and Parmesan, and curry leaf and sesame seed – adding a unique creation of exciting flavors to your usual fried chicken. The exceedingly thin pencil fries were underwhelming; the lightly ‘mayonaised’ slaw was worth a go. There’s no Heinz or Hellman’s available, instead house made salsas, feta sauces and sour cream dips which compliment the tantalizing chicken undoubtedly more. For me, I couldn’t stop eating until there were only bones on the table. It was moist, crunchy and extremely moreish. I’d be more than happy to return here, any day of the week for an afternoon or late night dinner. I look forward to paying another visit and would be proud in returning with friends, family or a lucky lady.
Taste – 7.5/10
Drinks – 7/10
Staff – 8.5/10